creativity

i wrote creative desolation at the beginning of this year. It is now october, and i feel less creative every day. in an attempt to rejuvenate that creativity, i will be deleting pinterest and tiktok off my phone. my hope is that i will spend less time looking for inspiration online, and start looking for it in person. i think instagram needs to go as well, but alas this is how i connect with others. for now, we will start with 2 that i think could be fairly easy to go without. i would like to start journaling. i watched a youtube video today at work about a girl trying different goals/experiments throughout the year, and one of the things she tried was called a commonplace journal. I think i would like to try this as well; a journal for things that inspire you, things that you like. I often will watch these types of videos to “unplug yourself” and find your creativity, but struggle to do so after the fact. I think that writing about something you hear or read can be very helpful in helping yourself commit to these goals. it’s like studying or note taking- you are committing it to memory. i’ve been thinking about the things in my life that have changed since i was creative. i was in school, actively learning and using my brain. i had more time. i wasn’t burnt out.

i am conflicted. part of me thinks it would be beneficial to take some time off work, but how can i afford that? it would certainly allow me time to ponder and to think more deeply about things. but maybe i would doomscroll on my phone. i limited my screentime on instagram and am trying to hold myself accountable to this limit. in the past, i would just press ignore every time. maybe ill have my friend set a password that i don’t know for it.

i want to feel more connected to the physical world, as i know i am too reliant on my phone. it is a distraction from my thoughts and my feelings. i wonder what society has and will become with these tools. i think i would like to spend more time in silence. most days i drive to work with no music, no audiobook, nothing for the 30 minutes it takes me to get there. im working on my patience, i am dumbifying my phone. i cancelled my netflix subscription and intend on dedicating more time to creation rather than consumption. i wont contribute to this capitalistic consumerism that has overrun our society any longer.